Death

Today is an odd day. I don't mean this in a positive or negative way......It just is.

I woke up today to a text sending me condolences for a woman who passed away that I used to be friends with in high school. Of course I was shocked to hear about it, anytime someone dies so young and doesn't get to live a long healthy life is sad. We lost touch after high school, but I knew she was doing well from friends of friends or catching a random post. This comes one week after learning of the death of my grandmother. She passed away at the age of 92, had a very hard life growing up but helped to create a wonderful family of 3 boys who had 3 fantastic families of their own. Yet, I digress a bit......

Death.....when you think about it on any given day, it is something we know that someday it will happen to us, our family, friends, pets and so forth. We know it is inevitable, yet it is just something that will happen......when is the mystery. When it does, it sets into motion a few things (at least from my perspective and experience).

1.) First thing is the range of emotions. When you think of emotions related to death, these are the ones that come across my mind:

• Sadness

• Anger

• Love

• Emptiness

• Devastation

• Lonliness

2.) What happened? Sometimes we know what happened, the loved one (family/friend) was old and it was there time or they were very sick. Other times it is something like a freak accident that no one saw coming. And the one we don't like to think about is they took their own life by committing suicide or overdosing on some kind of drug. There is some kind of curiosity that comes along with wanting to know what happened. Is it something we and others can learn from? Does knowing so make us feel better? I think some of those questions can only be answered on a personal level.

3.) Who else should know? When we find out about someone's passing we want to make sure that anyone who knew them knows as well so they can grieve and be at peace (someday) with the passing. So of course we reach out to anyone we know. Sometimes I think we do so, so that we know we are not alone going through the grieving process. But of course we are not alone, but it is always a comfort to know that there is someone else who is unfortunately going through the same thing that we can reach out to and talk to.

4.) When can I pay my respects to the family, friends and other loved ones? I hate to admit this, but when I think of this part, I kind of feel morbid. Like ok, this person just passed and I am already asking when the arrangements are??? We ask because we care, end of story.

5.) What if....What if this were me???? Holy shit! Have I done everything I wanted to? Will I leave a good impression on people? How will I be remembered? Are people going to care? This might also sound morbid to some people but I think at some point in our lives everyone thinks about "what if I died tomorrow?" If you haven't, what would you think now that I have brought it up?

As horrible as it might sound, I often talk openly with my mom and friends about if I die young, what are my wishes compared to when I die of old age. I want people to be OK and at peace with my passing no matter what my age is. I love my life, I have done more than a lot of people my age and have had different accomplishments and experiences as well.

One's life should never measured by materialistic things or how much we have accomplished. It SHOULD be measured by how we made others FEELL. Did others feel loved, cared for, appreciated, respected, blessed??? The list can go on and on of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg in the long list of positive ways we can leave our memories with the ones we leave behind.

I created an acrostic poem when my grandmother died and wanted to share it.

My

Emotional

Mentally

Organized

Retrievable

Interconnected

Etched

Senses